Is selfishness good or bad?
Selfishness is absolutely a good thing, for all the irrefutable reasons below:
- Selfishness is how nature works and if you believe in a divine force, god of any kind, how god designed every living being. The puppy or kitten coming out of its mother’s belly, the purest of beings, goes for the best nipple and will push its siblings aside to defend it. When it grows a little bit, it will fight for the best food and has no compunction in taking it, no guilt or shame. Its own mother will growl at it if it tries to take her food.
Every living being is programmed to take care of its own needs as an absolute priority, and this is nature’s way to preserve and propagate life. No creature other than humans feels any need to be selfless, and for humans it is a socially imposed obligation to pretend that we are not selfish, and thus always need to hide and feel guilt and shame, something no other life form feels. It is our own paradoxical self punishment imposed by society and religion that we are saddled with as babies. The Original Sin, the wretched Ego, Bad Karma from a previous life etc. etc. - When we act selflessly we impose an energetic debt on other people, since it is never real. If that debt is not paid, we get angry: “The bitch! I did all these things for her and look how she repays me!”, “I gave him everything and he betrays me!”, “Ungrateful bastards!” etc.
When I do anything for anybody, I do it selfishly for myself, because it makes me feel good, I like to see them happy, I want them to like me etc., so they never owe me anything and thus my loved ones are free of any obligation and I am free of hypocrisy.
The ones proclaiming that they do everything for others are the most hateful and resentful people. Mothers and fathers often wish to control their children’s lives forever and keep reminding them how they worked hard or sacrificed careers and holidays for them. Bullshit! Parents and lovers make their own choices for their lives.
- Everything and everybody wants to be one with, to love and be loved so everything we do for others should be for the very selfish reason of loving, connecting and should be done as something enjoyable, not as a burden and a sacrifice, because if we do anything for anybody else we are not loving ourselves.
Self love is the biggest gift in the pursuit of happiness, but we are encouraged to love everybody else and punish ourselves. In funerals and obituaries they say things like “He was such a great man, he did everything for others and never did anything for himself”, and we are supposed to feel like weasels because we don’t do the same. Maybe we should compete who will sacrifice more and treat themselves worse and give medals accordingly! Why do you think depression and self hatred is growing at such a rate? Because of these paradoxical social requirements that nobody can fulfill and our subsequent need to hide our natural selfishness, nature’s way of giving every creature the freedom and responsibility to take care of itself!
Comments
I have the same problem with all the “extreme” theories I come across, which is that without a society, with all its technological advances, people with this kind of beliefs wouldn’t be able to survive. In this case, we have extreme egoism where everybody does whatever he feels like its best for him. By following this path though, people wouldn’t be able to coexist in a community for there would be disputes all the time, with no laws, or at least some basic rules, a community would simply crumble, but if you enforce laws, people wouldn’t be able to act egoistically all the time. And with no society there would be no technological advancement which would put our survival at risk, imagine having to face for example the coronavirus with no media to inform you about what is happening, and that’s just one timely example so don’t answer me with stuff like the coronavirus is manmade etc. And if so happens at some point that someone proposed we put aside our differences to survive we would just be back to where we are now, maybe not in the first generation of the newly formed society’s people, but in the later generations where the laws proposed to put aside the differences between people would just be enforced on them without giving them a choice. Basically, it feels like people with extreme beliefs are only able to survive right now at the expense of society which allows for it to happen, and I say at the expense because being an egoist is usually good for you and bad for others, in this case society. I am not proposing to be totally selfless or anything as that is another extreme with its own bad results, I guess I am just a fan of balance. Unfortunately though lately I have found myself at a paradox where having balance in all things is an extreme in itself, but that’s another story.
Hello Andreas and first of all apologies for the late reply, due to a technical issue your comment got lost and it just came to my attention now. It is interesting you view the proposed points as an extreme theory, because if humans selfishly do what is best for them, then that is coexisting in a community, with no disputes because of clear laws, that the people selfishly agree with. The thing is, the human race thrives on cooperation, that is why we have become such a great species. Does it serve a human being to live in a safe and happy community or in a lawless world of terror? I know what I choose, and I believe many others choose the same.
The people who are able to survive right now at the expense of society are people who are stupid, not selfish. They do not see that society is what makes humanity thrive and refuse to cooperate and actively make it better. Instead they want to destroy without an alternative that makes any sense.
Balance in all things is indeed an extreme in itself, as Oscar Wilde once cleverly put it: Everything in moderation, including moderation.
Kind regards,
Liesje Demets-Hasson