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  • In reply to: Help topic

    July 24, 2017 at 6:17 pm #1338
    TyyClark
    Participant

    great, thank you! Everything makes sense to me here except for these:

    2a: if everyone puts the bar according to how much they wish to open their hearts, meaning I choose what to be proud of in others, if someone does poorly, I can choose to be proud of them for “trying their relative best in this moment” even if its not anywhere near their potential? another way to help me understand this would be: how would you answer this pillar: How do I increase my love and compassion for others?

    2b: I dont think so, or else the pillar “I” make “MYSELF” proud” or how do “I” love “MYSELF”… how is it different from self love, self pride, self worth etc??? in order to explain an internal action you make towards yourself you need to mention yourself twice in it because you are both the giver and receiver. correct?

    In reply to: Help topic

    June 28, 2017 at 5:10 pm #1174
    TyyClark
    Participant

    Hi Homodelectians!!! I have a few new questions and topics of interest. Lets start with my latest exploration.

    1: heres my proposition: TRUSTING IS MAKING A NON-FEAR BASED ASSUMPTION. (???) in the book “the 4 agreements” 1 of the agreements is “dont make assumptions”… but we make them all the time. I would say “dont make fear based assumptions” is a better agreement, wouldnt you? I trust the floor of bedroom is going to support my weight when i get out of bed, otherwise i would constantly be marshmellow footing my way around! same thing as ASSUMING the floor is going to hold my weight. right? both, this kind of assumtion and trusting, are filling in the unknown future with a belief that creates a feeling of peace.

    a contextual example from my life: My friend recently lost his job, and was saying “I fucked up, I assumed I would continue with my job after this probationary period, because all the feedback (that I got from my bosses, co-workers etc) implied that it was obvious i would stay. but then later in the same conversation he said: “good thing i trusted my bosses judgment about me even though i got fired because according to the accounting of trust it was still the best choice.” this struck a chord in me… in this context trusting and assuming are the same thing. therefore, this is a paradox actually! Thoughts?

    2a: This question is regarding #15 – how can i Love myself, and how to I measure my love toward others.

    Im seeking the answer to this pillar: How do I increase my love and compassion for others?

    Heres where I need clarity: If someone has no traits apparent to feel proud of, I still want to love them, because they are a human who is living life to the best of their ability relative to their state of awareness, and wants to be happy like all of us. is it not true that love/compassion can exist without pride? to illustrate this point, a new born baby has achieved no accomplishments except for surviving birth, yet everyone adores a new baby for their pure, sweet, innocent cuteness. there is love simply for their state of being, rather than any notable acomplishment. isn’t there a baseline level of love we can have for all humans regardless of how great or poor their choices are, just simply for being human? For the sake of loving them and feeling them as my brother or sister?

    b) on the topic of compassion. where does self compassion fit in? What I mean by self compassion is, a feeling of nurturing care, understanding and patience with oneself. Since its not about the position its about the direction, learning from mistakes quickly and then making a choice to make myself proud again seems to happen so quickly that If self compassion comes in, its brief, because I just make a better choice and feel instantly more proud. also, if you have a different or better definition for compassion, lets hear it!

    3: in the book “A mythic Voyage, when talking about the soul, it is stated that even rocks have a soul. my question: What choices does a rock make to elicit a soul? id love to know for the sake of clarity about if, and if so, to what degree they have a soul.

    THANKS!!!
    BIG HUGS
    -Tyy

    In reply to: Help topic

    January 10, 2017 at 5:22 pm #741
    TyyClark
    Participant

    yes, i see how these beliefs dont serve my happiness which is exactly why im bringing them up on this thread. To change a belief it requires new supportive evidence to override the old web of interconnected beliefs so thats what Im seeking.

    its hard to believe profit driven companies value eco choices that preserve the earth more than what will make the most $$$, so yes, marketing is based largely upon convenience. I believe everyone working for these companies are working hard to feed their families and feel similar waves of emotions as I do, and are doing what they think and feel is best for themselves and the world. however, the values of what is “best” differs from trump and a radical activist, so if i decide to be agreeable with everything that humanitys doing then how is discernment of use?

    we use TP for sanitary reasons so it would be unhygienic to do as you suggested, and is trivializing my question…. I never commenting on changing our use of TP. objective analysis to increase efficiency is not a “hypocritical crusade”, cuz I obviously happily use paper products every day. and yes, TP and paper cups both come from trees, but if we can reduce environmental impact why not do it to consider the well being of future generations? as you said, everything is as it should be, but that doesnt mean we should stop looking for better solutions.

    I want to fully trust the choices and course of humanity, but in order to not contradict myself do I need to be able to find agreeable beliefs about all the things I see, which i feel requires logical explanations beyond just telling myself “it serves my happiness so i’ll just believe this now” – do you agree? & what are some tools to help me do this?

    In reply to: Help topic

    January 9, 2017 at 5:58 pm #729
    TyyClark
    Participant

    thank you. very helpful responses.

    from #2: “But if everybody carried around their own mugs and glasses, wiped their asses with cloth and used handkerchiefs instead of tissues we would be using so much energy to clean them and so many waste chemicals and soaps as well as energy to carry them around that we would destroy the environment more.”

    counter comment:

    i have a hard time believing using a lil soap and water to wash a mug is “more waste and chemicals and soaps” then what is required to make paper cups in a factory, the smog of that factory, and in the future deal with the landfill full of paper cups. can you prove me wrong?

    id like to think humanity does whats most economical and best in all scenarios, but it seem evident that convenience is also one of the highest valued traits in marketing which isn’t always necessary “best”. It seems we don’t use reusable mugs because people are too lazy to want to bring a cup with them and can depend that a paper cup awaits them at every coffee shop, so they just use the cup and give 0 fucks about what happens to it afterwards.

    also – can you address this part of my question: “another more extreme example is activists fighting to preserve the amazon jungle. as we examined almost all activists are unhappy or will be soon, but without them won’t ignorant humans fuck up gratuitous amounts of forests?” that is to say, without the pushback of people feeling like things are not as they should be wouldn’t we be passively allowing idiots to cause destruction?

    In reply to: Help topic

    January 9, 2017 at 2:24 am #710
    TyyClark
    Participant

    1: this ones regarding life OS paradox #4: “Death / Change”. my understanding is that almost everyone has resistance to death because that means ones life will be over, so all life does its best to survive. if humans suffer from the paradox, but plants and animals strive to stay alive just as much as humans how are the plants and animals not paradoxed as well? isn’t the act of having resistance to change natural a survival strategy because it gives a buffer of time to consider the possible repercussions of ones actions? that is to say, a flicker of “danger, things are not as they should be, take needed action to restore asitshouldbeness”?

    2: a big shift in perspective iv been implementing is to trust humanity, and the current practices of the world. I’m doing very well overall, but am still confused about some things. for EG: typically i would bring a mason jar with me everytime i want to buy a coffee to go, in order to not waste a paper to-go cup. This action stems from the fact that the ocean and landfill is filled with to go containers and 1 time use packaging, and if everyone remembered to bring their own cup the world would be far less polluted & factories wouldn’t have to waste energy producing so many to-go cups. however… If believe paper cups are idiotic to use so i don’t use them but most of the world does then that is a huge paradox so I’m fucked. so whats the alternative? : do I trust humanity that since its commonly accepted to use to go cups, I can also use them guilt free, or is that just naive? perhaps to support that belief system I can trust that in the future we will make a technology that solves all of this, or in the worst case paper cups take over the world and we all die and its exactly as it should anyways?

    I want to understand not just what to belief about some cups but about everything so it serves my happiness… so another more extreme example is activists fighting to preserve the amazon jungle. as we examined almost all activists are unhappy or will be soon, but without them won’t ignorant humans fuck up gratuitous amounts of forests? I doubt people chopping the amazon down are aware or even value that “More than 20 percent of the world oxygen is produced in the Amazon Rainforest. More than half of the world’s estimated 10 million species of plants, animals and insects live in the tropical rainforests. One-fifth of the world’s fresh water is in the Amazon Basin.” it doesn’t serve my happiness to hear news of more and more land being chopped down… it feels insensitive for me to glaze it over and just say its as it should be. what am I to do about this to be happy about it?

    3a: If I get very good at loving being wrong, loving it being my fault so i can make myself right again, yet my intimate partner, roommate or business partner subconsciously takes advantage of that to avoid taking responsibility up to their unintegral behaviours, how do i keep “relating” with them, and feel that the air is cleared? I can “not give a fuck about anything that doesn’t serve my happiness” but that would mean my relationship would be at stake. both people taking full responsibility has been the foundation of problem solving for me, yet sometimes helping the other person to see their blind actions proves difficult, and energy consumptive. whats the best solution?

    3b: why do I feel the other person has to also admit their unintegral behaviours before I can feel fully open to them? perhaps the reason the admittance is pressing for me is if they don’t get it they will just do the same unintegral behaviours again and we will both suffer, so i really want them to understand for both our sake! is this reasonable or not?

    4: regarding pillar 11: “if I’m wrong I’m powerful” – so if someone has a huge abusive fit towards me and in response i make a tiny little error (lets say its 95% helpful and 5% hurtful) do I still say “I was wrong for that lil 5% hurtful” and don’t point the finger at them at all? If I call them on it “well you did this action and it created this effect” and they are not willing to take responsibility then we will go in circles and suffer, yet 95% of the problem is caused by their beliefs / actions.

    5: This is related to choice OS, but was inquired upon by reading the book blink: I’m thinking about the conscious – subconscious relationship in relevance to the following: Throughout my day, I often write things down that are important to remember (such as to do’s, these questions that your answering etc.) because i don’t want to forget it later. I would like to get to the point where i don’t have to do that and can trust myself to remember everything. do you think removing the process of writing down to-do’s and changing my belief to “I will always remember everything i need to” is a good way to do this – or does this first require to remove all the paradoxes? I read an article about how storing data in your brain takes up a lot of working memory so its better to write things down, and rather than memorizing every fact just use google when needed (that way all the info of the world is stored in “the cloud”. do you agree or not, and why?

    6: If I achieve permanent happiness, so every moment I have the feeling everything is exactly as it should be, how would that effect my preferences? to give a hyperbolized example if Im totally happy sitting on the couch all day everyday why would I do anything else? where would the motivation come from if i felt in every moment nothing needed to be added or taken away.

    7: lets say for example, in one moment I dont feel happy, I feel a dull emotion of disquiet. so I begin searching for whats not as it should be and dont find anything apparent. after close examination everything does appear to be as it should be. i would think it would be something in my subconscious that im not aware of, but is affecting me nonetheless… is this sometimes the case? and if so whats the best thing to do to restore happiness? how much can you change your “asitshouldbe-thermostat” by telling yourself “since i cant find anything not asitshouldbe its unreasonable to feel this so everything must in fact be as it should be, and I choose to see from this vantage point now.”

    Thanks!